Your nail-scarred hands...

Was searching for Hillsongs on youtube and came across this one called "At the Cross" where the video accompanying the song was a clip from Passion of the Christ. Gosh...as I was watching it, just broke down and cried. Watched it twice...my pjs didn't even have time to be dried before it was all wet again (no I didn't pee, I cried) .

Was just thinking...He has given up so much for us, but I can't even remember when was the last time I ever did Him proud. Puang told me I did, coz I played for worship in church too. But I don't think I did. Coz Cixian's words came back to me from the last bible study I went to...that so many times in the midst of preparing for worship, rehearsing and all, we're often guilty of putting the spotlight on our ownselves instead of God. We treat it as a performance instead of worship. I really still can't tell how much of what I've gone through on stage is due to stage fright or it is coz I'm not committing my all to Him. The pianist and worship leader works hand in hand to lead the entire congregation.

I don't know. And up till now...I still can't find the courage to face it. That's why I've stepped down as sanctuary pianist. Felt that it was coming at the wrong time. I shouldn't be feeling the great amount of stress if I'm serving God willingly right? Because it's God, I don't want to treat His work as a burden or chore. I want to do it willingly. And I know...He'll still continue to use me in His great work. I don't know if I'll ever be coming back as a pianist again, but I know He's plans are perfect and I'll trust in it.

Wherever You bring me, I will go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAFEa9pYHtU this is the link to the video

Just thought I would add this song too...

Above All

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what You're worth

Crucified laid behind a stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all