Relationships Bullshits
It kinda sucks sometimes when you know that too many people are reading your blog and when there's something too personal...you ache to talk abt it but can't. RAWRS!
A relationship is not as simple as adding it all up. It's not ALMOST impossible, it IS IMPOSSIBLE to fit everyone into the ideal guy n girl friends expectations that each of us hold. And sadly...even when all seems perfect...missing that 0.1% of something, just crashes the whole relationship. How wonderful...
Of coz...it'll be a nice warm feeling to anyone to know that someone has feeling for you. It's true that alot of times, you won't know how things will really be until you're in the relationship itself. But I've enough of breakups and makeups, to want to hurt anyone anymore, including myself.
Promises of how good and perfect the relationship will be, how that guy will never leave nor forsake you, how that guy will take the greatest care of you, how two people make their plans for the future together...it used to be something that means so much to me...but all that seems to be fleeting words, the nice harmonic choice of words that I'm already numb to (ok not numb...but definitely 99.9% skeptical about) since it all turns out to be bullshit. No matter who it is...it's became a shadow I know I can never completely walk out of.
It's not that I'm not following my heart or that I'm trying to escape issues, I just feel that after so much...my relationships don't work coz I've never really did give it fully to God. I let my emotions, my heart rule over my principles and my faith. This time, I know I need to listen. It might be a decision that is going to break me for that moment...but I know I need to hang on.
I know how to love someone. But its not the Godly love that God desires from me.
I need to know and love Him more, before I'm able to pass on this happiness and love to someone else. Anyone.
It's not that I don't hurt. Because of a lot of reasons, I do.
Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
It kinda sucks sometimes when you know that too many people are reading your blog and when there's something too personal...you ache to talk abt it but can't. RAWRS!
A relationship is not as simple as adding it all up. It's not ALMOST impossible, it IS IMPOSSIBLE to fit everyone into the ideal guy n girl friends expectations that each of us hold. And sadly...even when all seems perfect...missing that 0.1% of something, just crashes the whole relationship. How wonderful...
Of coz...it'll be a nice warm feeling to anyone to know that someone has feeling for you. It's true that alot of times, you won't know how things will really be until you're in the relationship itself. But I've enough of breakups and makeups, to want to hurt anyone anymore, including myself.
Promises of how good and perfect the relationship will be, how that guy will never leave nor forsake you, how that guy will take the greatest care of you, how two people make their plans for the future together...it used to be something that means so much to me...but all that seems to be fleeting words, the nice harmonic choice of words that I'm already numb to (ok not numb...but definitely 99.9% skeptical about) since it all turns out to be bullshit. No matter who it is...it's became a shadow I know I can never completely walk out of.
It's not that I'm not following my heart or that I'm trying to escape issues, I just feel that after so much...my relationships don't work coz I've never really did give it fully to God. I let my emotions, my heart rule over my principles and my faith. This time, I know I need to listen. It might be a decision that is going to break me for that moment...but I know I need to hang on.
I know how to love someone. But its not the Godly love that God desires from me.
I need to know and love Him more, before I'm able to pass on this happiness and love to someone else. Anyone.
It's not that I don't hurt. Because of a lot of reasons, I do.
Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
posted by bringmetolife @ 2:53 AM
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