What to do...when I know I still love you
Woke up to Sam's msg, "...today will be a better day". I don't like the emotions that churned inside me. It gives me a kind of hope I don't dare to look forward to. It won't be a better day...when everyday is without you...
Concern came from those few I knew who would never leave me and I'm grateful. I'm grateful for that call from Kai even when he's all the way in the ulu jungles having live firing (erm...I'm surprised to know that the reception was still so good).
Concern came from those I didn't expect too. Got a msg from Sam when I was preparing to go out of the house. What he said, words as simple as they may seem, just weren't those that you would expect to come from a stereotypical guy trying to pick up a girl. I don't know if it is what it is, but I felt as if he was trying to protect me from the hurt that he's been through before, like the way I tried to protect Puang knowing that I never want him to go through what I've been through. Coming from an almost total stranger, I was touched. Thank You.
It tore me apart.
It tore me apart to hear the our song the first thing I turned on the radio, and just when the bus was passing YIH where we used to be all the time.
It tore me apart to think of you when I was in the shower. I missed the way you used to love smelling my hair and how it never fails to bring a smile to my face.
It tore me apart to know that you msged my bestfriend to take care of me. It was just like you to msg her whenever it happens.
It tore me apart to be back in UHWC again...alone, remembering how I used to be there with you for each appointment, remembering all that happened when I fell.
It tore me apart to see your Anatomy textbook on my table. How my scribbles were still in there. How I hate to flip open the book now coz somehow, your presence is still there.
It tore me apart to miss you...and not be able to tell you.
It tore me apart to receive your msg when I wake, knowing that you're still sinking and still hurting.
It tore me apart.
And to you...I've never really left you, for each time you think of me, I'm right there in your heart. I'll never leave you when I know you'll need me the most. I'll never be that one who lifted you up and bring you down the same. One day, you'll learn to stand on your own two feet, but in the process of learning, even if I can't be there, I'll always be watching over you in a distance...I'll catch you if you fall...I've promised.
Woke up to Sam's msg, "...today will be a better day". I don't like the emotions that churned inside me. It gives me a kind of hope I don't dare to look forward to. It won't be a better day...when everyday is without you...
Concern came from those few I knew who would never leave me and I'm grateful. I'm grateful for that call from Kai even when he's all the way in the ulu jungles having live firing (erm...I'm surprised to know that the reception was still so good).
Concern came from those I didn't expect too. Got a msg from Sam when I was preparing to go out of the house. What he said, words as simple as they may seem, just weren't those that you would expect to come from a stereotypical guy trying to pick up a girl. I don't know if it is what it is, but I felt as if he was trying to protect me from the hurt that he's been through before, like the way I tried to protect Puang knowing that I never want him to go through what I've been through. Coming from an almost total stranger, I was touched. Thank You.
It tore me apart.
It tore me apart to hear the our song the first thing I turned on the radio, and just when the bus was passing YIH where we used to be all the time.
It tore me apart to think of you when I was in the shower. I missed the way you used to love smelling my hair and how it never fails to bring a smile to my face.
It tore me apart to know that you msged my bestfriend to take care of me. It was just like you to msg her whenever it happens.
It tore me apart to be back in UHWC again...alone, remembering how I used to be there with you for each appointment, remembering all that happened when I fell.
It tore me apart to see your Anatomy textbook on my table. How my scribbles were still in there. How I hate to flip open the book now coz somehow, your presence is still there.
It tore me apart to miss you...and not be able to tell you.
It tore me apart to receive your msg when I wake, knowing that you're still sinking and still hurting.
It tore me apart.
And to you...I've never really left you, for each time you think of me, I'm right there in your heart. I'll never leave you when I know you'll need me the most. I'll never be that one who lifted you up and bring you down the same. One day, you'll learn to stand on your own two feet, but in the process of learning, even if I can't be there, I'll always be watching over you in a distance...I'll catch you if you fall...I've promised.
posted by bringmetolife @ 6:43 PM
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