To your friends

Friends. Sometimes I wonder what the word means. I wonder why are your friends so different from mine.

My friends, would tell me their point of view, yet at the same time understand just as strongly that they can't change the feelings inside of me. They don't, and in the end though it may not be something they believe in, they still give me their full support and I know they'll still stand by me whatever decisions I may make. Especially true of my close ones, Li, Chang and Kai.

To all your friends who reads my blog, please ENOUGH. All this while, it is Hui Weiguang who is with me, not YOU. I don't care who is with or against this relationship, not anymore, just leave us alone please. YOU don't know me and thus have no fucking right to comment on this relationship and no blardy right to judge me and what will be good for ME. Honestly, this is ridiculous, everyone just BACK OFF.

And to that fucker who ADVISED him to break off all ties with me, honestly, you don't deserve to be called anyone's friend at all. If someone you love walks out of your life will you truely be happy in the long run? Stop imposing your values on him when you don't know how much this relationship means to us. You can lose all your friends, that's YOUR problem. Oh and, I think I forgot to add in the fact that I HATE YOU? I hate you for pushing me almost over the edge. If something had really happened to me yesterday, do you think YOU can pay for the hurt and pain that will continue? You don't know what I've been through and I hate you for making me remember every single hurt inflicted on me in the past, for making Puang want to repeat that hurt. You don't deserve to be called a friend coz you can't control the kind of shitt that comes out of your mouth, without being filtered through your puny brain.

To all of your friends, whoever you are, I'm begging all of you to let this matter rest. If you can say that you're his friend and that you understand him, you should realise that there are more important issues than this relationship. Loving him, is my choice, it's not something that YOU can change. Let it rest. You're still talking about it because you've no idea of the extent of hurt and pain your comments are causing both me and him. You're still talking about it because you've no idea how you're pushing me right to the edge till I've no where to go, till I was suicidal again yesterday. But now I'm letting you know. Yes you've almost pushed me over the edge yesterday. If seeing me take my life is what is so interesting to you by all means go ahead.

Back off. Don't bring this up over and over again as if it's something fun and interesting to you. I'm not one of your experiments, neither is he.

We have already came to our own conclusion. Something that the both of US have came to agree. There are more important things to focus on. We're as good and as close as ever.

This chapter is closed.

So please, enough of all the advice. I don't want to hear, neither does he need to hear it from you.

I hated yesterday's conversation. I hated having to raise my voice at Puang for the first time in my life. I hated remembering the past and knowing how the hurt will still haunt me...