How would you know?

Mum lost a close friend of 30 over years. Brain tumour..went for op but didn't get a chance to wake up again. Wenyun (Sis's bf) lost his grandma at the same time. Kidney failure. Op in China was a success..but got food poisoning after eating some fruits, infection went to the brain and she passed just like that.

Kinda got me thinking. When I see my mum crying her heart out..when I hear my sis talking about Wenyun's grandma..I feel for them..I really do. If I'm feeling so much when I'm only remotely connected to them...I'm wondering how I would feel if I lost my loved ones. Yeaah CHOY..but one day everyone will have to leave. Leaving behind people they love who will hurt and mourn for them. Memories...everything will just be memories...part of history...

This, led to another thought.

How would we know that someone will be so right for us?
How would we know that that someone we love will be there for us till the very end?
By feelings? But more often then not..feelings can be wrong. You can believe, wish and hope all you want initially..but who can really tell what might happen in the future?

Maybe I'm tired. Tired of trying to love. Tired of hurting. Scared of being hurt. Scared of accidentally hurting people I care about. Tired of trusting in things that never lasts.

Kai said I should take a break. I've a feeling I should...but then I can't help the feelings that come.

When you've known someone for so long...instinctively you would trust in them. But when it comes to love...would you put the same trust in them?

What do you say to someone whom you've loved and cared for all your life as a special friend when he tells you that he's seeing you as so much more than just friends now?

I've loved you and cared for you all my life. And I don't deny that kind of love and care is turning into something so much different now. It's not that I don't care. Just that I haven't found a way to react to it myself. Then I remember Pau's situation when he was "in trouble" - it doesn't mean that if you love someone, it's enough to render a relationship

I'm scared of the consequences but how can we not try for something which means so much to us?
There's going to be so many obstacles we have to overcome. Are we really ready for it? Are we gonna put in the same amount of effort to fight for it? I know you would honey...but I don't trust in myself. I'm afraid I would give up halfway. I'm afraid of losing you if I did that. You don't know how scared I am...

I don't think I can stand another heartbreak...another time of putting in my heart and soul and ending up with nothing. I don't think I can take it...coz this time its YOU.

Interestingly enough now that I remember...when I was helping you patch things back with Han, she told me that if the situation was different, we would be perfect together.

I don't know...I really don't. Talked to Chang about it. She said "you would know it's real, if you see yourselves together for the rest of your life" But then you can never know can you? When things started out with Amos, that was what I had thought too. Two and a half years of relationship then went down the drain. How would you know?

I guess for now...We would just have to see how things go. I'll take it a step at a time.
2 more months of thinking...

I wonder if anyone understands what I'm talking about. Lol if you're not Puang, Li, Chang and Pam, I highly doubt so...too bad

ANYWAY...

On a lighter note...Let's see..what happened today?
Lol mug Biochem like shit only to realise everything still don't understand ahaha but wayang my way through and did surprisingly above my expectations. Win lah. I know. Thank You =D

Stupid Uncle ps me AGAIN!!! LS lah say die die today will come down wan. Ya RITEEE. You better be treating e drinks at CitySpace on Friday. I make sure I drink the most expensive ones. TOO BAD.

Merlion is feeling DAMN BORED now I can see. Lol complain that my blogging more impt than him ahaha.

-=GuAnG=- G for Guang and Gunners... GUNNERS! I SALUTE... says:
The confused confuscion tried to confuse confused confusicon with confusciuism...
-=GuAnG=- G for Guang and Gunners... GUNNERS! I SALUTE... says:
read this 10 times...

Haha blardy hell irritating leh lol ok fine I'll entertain you SOON

Ok actually..now..coz I've nothing to say already AHAHAH

One last note, Puang I need Happy Pills already!!!! Got pink ones anot?Heh