Can anyone blame me for thinking too much?

Uh huh...yaay I love my bitch.

She has successfully convinced me that I'm not a paranoid petty lil biatch BLEH.

I hated thinking about it. I hated remembering things that I try so hard to erase outta my mind. Things that I try so hard to pretend didn't happened. Emotions I try so hard to convince myself that I didn't feel before.

And I was paranoid also coz I was so afraid the same kind of hurt would come from that someone I love so much right now.

I don't think I can take another time of it. Once is enough. Enough to last for a lifetime. Puang says the hurt will lessen with time. My response was, it won't. No doubt as time passes I'll think of it less frequently, but everytime I remember it, it will hurt just as much. I'm not hurting over the person anymore, I'm hurting over the fact that the one thing I hate most, happened to me over and over again.

Thoughts of the past, combined with the fact that I still feel as if I'm wearing a mask somehow, just turned me crazy just now. Turned me crazy that there're still things I want to say, but I can't and never will. I was never like that. Sometimes I question myself who am I turning into.

It hurt so much just now, that even I don't know what the hell was happening to me. =( ignored all of Puang's calls, almost didn't want to talk to him but didn't want to worry him in the end.
Sorrieee *blinks blinks*

Haiz sucks. I'm still thinking of alot of things...Boo =( I don't think these insecurities are STILL setting in. I think they've been left there within me and are STILL multiplying.

Don't ever leave me alone.