The hardest part was loving you...and losing you

More than ever my heart is breaking...coz this time, I know it's for real

It was the happiest time of my life. But you came, you gave, and you took it all away. It scares me to know these happy times are no more...it scares me to know that I'm gonna have to wake up every morning without you anymore. You had became so much a part of my life. I'm lost...I'm lost without you and I can't get out.

I want to say I've lost you so many times, it doesn't hurt anymore. But the truth is, it hurts more than anything I've been through. More than anything... more than Marc, more than Cal, more than Amos, more than Elv, more than Ming. It hurts because I couldn't see any reason to let you go...but then I realise the biggest reason that I refused to see, was that you can never love me back.

I want to say you've hurt me so much that I just don't care anymore. But the the truth is, I care...and I care for you more than anything else in the world. The truth is you didn't hurt me at all...I just kept on hurting myself.

Chang told me she didn't wanna see me give up without a fight. There wasn't anything for me to fight for, I was fighting against myself.

I gave and gave, but couldn't give you what you need. All that I gave couldn't make you love me. All that we had...just wasn't enough to see us through...

Loved and lost. Maybe I should stop this blog already. I started this blog losing someone I came to realise I didn't love...and now I've lost someone, with all my heart I knew I loved....